Notes From A Scientist
by QueenofWierd
Summary: Cecil's perspective on Night Vale and its strange happenings is well known. But what about Carlos? How did he deal with everything that occurred and how did he feel about Cecil constantly talking about him and his "perfect" hair?
1. Chapter 1

Inspired by a Tumblr post that said, basically, what if Carlos talked about Cecil in his recording notes as much as Cecil talked about him. It's written as if we were reading the transcript of the recording. Includes my personal headcanon that Carlos is from Eureka (of the titular tv show) but knowledge of the show shouldn't be needed beyond knowing what GD is. For reference, GD = Global Dynamics and is where all of the scientists in town work.

* * *

Day One in Night Vale.

Drove into town with Drs. Finch, Donovan, and Vorpal. Drs. Green, Cameron, Jacobs, and Tyler were in the other car. We headed first to the rented lab that we'll be using for the next year. As we drove in, the radio switched itself on to a local news station. We were unable to either turn it off or find a station with a differing broadcast.

The broadcaster, whom we later found out is named Cecil Baldwin, began his program – at least, the section to which our radio tuned into – by describing a dog park that no one's allowed to enter because of the "hooded figures" residing inside it. He continued by mentioning angels appearing in an "Old Woman Josie's" house. Those must be city-wide inside jokes. It's the only thing that makes sense.

Then he added that a team of scientists – us – had entered Night Vale. Someone from GD must've called ahead or something. Anyway, Cecil…er, Mr. Baldwin talked about us entering the town, where the lab was that we were renting – apparently "no one" makes pizza like Big Rico. Weird. – and continued by saying that one of the scientists' hair is, quote, "perfect".

He was either talking about myself, Dr. Donovan, Dr. Cameron, or Dr. Jacobs, as he was using "his" and we're the only male scientists with hair.

More on track, we had drawn straws to see who would officially announce our arrival. I had the shortest one, so I had to go up and talk. (even though they all _know_ I hate public speaking). I introduced myself and told them that I and my team had come to Night Vale because they were the most scientifically interesting town in the US. I then added that we wanted to know just what was going on around here.

Mr. Baldwin was not there, but somehow he was able to describe the events of the meeting. He apparently was talking about me earlier as he said that the new scientist is named Carlos. Mr. Baldwin went on to talk about my appearance, of all things, and told how he "fell in love instantly" when I smiled. What is up with him? Is he trying to provoke me or is he being earnest? It's kind of creepy either way.

Unrelated to Mr. Baldwin, we inspected a house that, by all rights, should not exist. Wind was blowing through it, no heat signatures were detected, and a bird – I _think_ it was a bird – flew right through the brick chimney. We were unable to get concrete evidence.

On a semi-related note, Dr. Tyler set up our seismic monitors and the needle immediately begin to jerk up and down. We checked, double-checked, and even _triple-checked_, but the monitors were working perfectly fine. I called the radio station, so Mr. Baldwin could warn the town, but I was brushed off. He just told the town to send in an insurance claim and moved on.

Ghost cars are also apparently no cause for alarm – note to self to inspect that later – and the weather is apparently music. _*annoyed sigh*_

I went into the station during the break to test for radiation and other abnormal materials. The Geiger counter I brought with started beeping the moment I stepped in the building. I thought it might be broken –even though I _knew _new batteries had been put in it earlier – but it was fine. The counter got more excited once I stepped into Mr. Baldwin's broadcasting room, and got really crazy when I put it up to the microphone. I tried warning them, saying that they could all die – that they _should be dead_ – but no one listened. Mr. Baldwin actually laughed.

Even the _sun_ has something wrong with it. Sunset occurred ten minutes later than it was supposed to. My team and I checked every clock we could – analog, digital, cellphone – and it definitely was late. Do I even need to say what happened when we tried warning the town?

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	2. Chapter 2

Day five in Night Vale.

Several more bizarre happenings have occurred in the past few days.

The sun has continued to set at the wrong time, but inconsistently. What I mean is, it set ten minutes late on Monday, three minutes early on Tuesday, a full _hour _late on Wednesday, and five minutes late yesterday. And there's no explanation yet as to why. None of the – for lack of a better word – natives to Night Vale seem to know or care. Responses to questions ranged from "whatever" to "if that's what it wants to do, why should you care?" and every bit of weird in-between.

I'm starting to wonder if we're gonna get any valid data, but then again we've only been here a week. Can't lose hope yet.

Mr. Baldwin's been mentioning me in pretty much every broadcast. He keeps saying how I and my hair are "beautiful and prefect". It's still kind of creepy, but he seems to mean it at least. Better creepy than malicious, right?

….And now I'm talking about my personal life. I apologize.

_Anyway_, mini-tornados have been popping up all over Night Vale. They're approximately three feet tall – I say 'approximately' because none of them have stayed in one place long enough to get a valid measurement. Every time I, or any of my colleagues, have gotten close to one it disappears. It seems like the mini-tornados are…no, it's impossible. It seems like they're _avoiding_ us. Can't be.

Tried calling the radio station again – the council and police station aren't picking up – but of course that didn't work. Mr. Baldwin just said, and I quote, "Oh, those things? Probably just the secret police again. And if you're going to continue to call so much, you might as well call me Cecil. I have to go now – break's almost over."

_*annoyed sigh*_ Secret police? Really? I swear this town gets stranger for every second we're stuck – uh, _staying_ here. And, secret or not, how can they create mini-tornados? Or control them, for that matter? Whatever.

On the horizon, and approaching steadily, is a gigantic glowing cloud. Cecil has reported that someone has _died_ because of it, but doesn't seem to care. I hate to sound like a broken record, but I have to drive home the point that this town is apparently blasé to the strange happenings that occur here.

Though, considering what can happen in Eureka, who am I to judge?

…It's _different_ though. Stuff in Eureka can be explained by science. Here in Night Vale? _*sigh, followed by three loud beeps*_

Dr. Jacobs just texted to say that the glow cloud is raining dead animals. Might leave later to investigate.

Anyway, Mr. Baldwin is reporting on the radio that the sheriff's secret police are looking for a _five-headed __**dragon**_. A _dragon_. And he sounds as earnest as ever. Either it's true or he just _believes_ it's true. Whichever it is…

Forget the existence of the library? Can't believe this place. A lion?

Okay, _now_ what's going on? I'll bring the recorder closer.

_*rustling noise*_

"_**- e.**_

_** " **__**I S**__**. D.**_**__**

" L.

" W, D, **_ R_****_._**_"_

_ *rustling noise* _

That was Cecil speaking there. It was weird. One second he was normal, the next – . I don't know. I simply don't know. Maybe I should call in, see if he's alright?

…No, I'm sure he's fine. It must've been a publicity stunt – something to drive up the ratings. That's all.

No new news on the glow cloud from Dr. Jacobs. From what I can see out the window, it's still raining dead animals. I'm gonna try to grab one without getting hit.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *silence*_

_ *clicking sound, some rustling*_

Alright, I'm back. Managed to snag what looks like a chameleon – I don't know much about zoology, so don't take that as fact.

There are about three gashes on its left side about half an inch each. Purple ooze is coming out of them. Again, I don't know much about chameleons, but I don't think that's supposed to happen. Dr. Finch just came in– I'll ask her.

Dr. Finch – can you take a look at this?

_*muffled footsteps approaching*_

Yeah, I ca – what the hell? What _happened _to that thing?

It dropped out of that weird glowing cloud outside. That's all I know.

Chameleon blood's supposed to be a reddish-brown, not-not _purple_. Are they all doing that?

Not sure – this was the only one I grabbed.

I'll get another one.

_*muffled footsteps departing*_

_ *door opening and closing*_

Okay, now the ooze is spreading. It's dissolving the chameleon. _Shit. _Uh, how do I stop this?

_*running footsteps*_

_ *paper towel tearing*_

_ *running footsteps*_

I-I'm applying some paper towel, but the ooze is just eating that up, too. I'll try to get it in the hazardous materials bin. Assuming that won't dissolve, too.

_*muffled noises such as scraping and a lid opening*_

Okay, that worked. Sort of. The body's still dissolving, but the bin isn't at least.

…Dr. Finch hasn't returned yet. I'll go check on her.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Dr. Finch is dead. Sh-she got hit by some of the purple ooze and it dissolved her in seconds. There's no body, so we can't hold a normal funeral, but we'll have a service tomorrow and call her family.

Rest in peace, Tamara.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	3. Chapter 3

Day Twelve in Night Vale.

Books aren't working. Dr. Tyler was the first of my team to notice. He opened one and sparks came shooting out. Honestly, it's a miracle he wasn't electrocuted.

Dr. Tyler, Dr. Jacobs, and I tested several books and got a variety of results ranging from a vague meat smell to biting to a gas, that when tested, turned out to be tear gas like the one used in World War One. No idea yet as to how we didn't die.

I called Cecil, and he said he'll warn the town.

So mini tornados and deadly radiation aren't considered threats, but books that haven't managed to…to kill someone are? Wh-what happened to this town's priorities?

…I'm no-not feeling so well. I-I started f-feeling a little nervous before, th-then worried, and now…now I – I –

_*loud clattering noise*_

_*muffled whimpering that lasts for a few minutes*_

_*sounds of someone standing up, mild rustling*_

I'm sorry about that. It was like I just had a panic attack or something. Worst one I've ever felt – maybe it was a side effect of the book's gas? Not looking forward to testing that theory.

Apparently I wasn't the only one – Cecil's mentioning it now on his broadcast. He's saying it affected the whole town.

Note to self – find out exactly what Desert Bluffs is. Seems like a rival town, but here who knows what's up. I mean, I wouldn't wish what I felt earlier on anyone.

…Wait, is he-? I can't _believe _him! I got, maybe, two inches cut of my hair cut the other day, and now Cecil's condemning the man who did it like he had killed me!

And now he's going on and on about how his bosses are threatening to kill him because he tried to describe them on-air. Yeah, right.

He _does_ sound really scared, though. Can anyone be that good of an actor? I'll write a letter later if I have time. Not that I really _need_ to, but…better safe than sorry, I suppose. Cecil may be more than a tad obsessed with my hair, but he doesn't deserve to die.

There's some really weird noises coming from the background of the radio, like thunder in a blender or something. Wish I could turn this radio off, but that's apparently impossible. Oh well.

Anyway, we haven't been able to explain the non-existing house yet. Nor have we found a reason as to why the sun refuses to set at the correct time. The glow cloud – which disappeared a few hours after it first appeared – is currently unexplainable as well.

I'm getting disappointed on that front, but at least there's no shortage of activity to study. For example, how does an entire town suffer a panic attack at the same time? Is there something in the air? Or the water? I'll start collecting samples tomorrow.

Okay, things are getting really crazy on the radio. Cecil's got to be lying – how can someone be absorbed into another person?

There are some bizarre sounds coming from the background now. Almost like screeching of some sort…it doesn't sound human. Is that possible?

If Cecil wasn't lying about the dragon last week, then his bosses might _not_ be human.

_*slow sigh*_

If someone had told me a month ago that I'd seriously say one day that dragons were real, I'd have laughed in their face. But after nearly two weeks in Night Vale…I almost think I can believe in anything.

How did that quote from Alice in Wonderland go? "I believe in six impossible things before breakfast"? Well, whatever it is, that's what living in Night Vale does to you.

….Not the worst mentality in the world.

I hope Cecil will be okay.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	4. Chapter 4

Day Twenty-Six in Night Vale.

Have to keep this one short – the City Council is voting today to remove a door in Radon Canyon. It's keeping a bunch of Plutonium from killing everything in a hundred-mile radius, but do they care? No! All they care about is that the warning sign on the door is an eyesore.

Don't even have time for a proper dinner beforehand. I was planning on having some pizza, but I'll just grab some gum for now.

Lavender? What kind of a flavor is that? Better than nothing, I suppose.

_ *wrapper crinkling*_

Not bad. Anyway, the sun actually set on time yesterday. Dr. Donovan said it was five seconds early, but no one else agreed with him. No sign from the glow cloud, and no more city-wide panic attacks. Thank goodness.

On a semi-related note, Cecil survived…whatever the hell was going on with his bosses.

…Is that the time? _Crap_. I'm late! I'll add notes after the meeting.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

I got there just in time. Presented my case against the door removal to no avail. The measure was passed and now this whole town is doomed. Totally doomed.

_*loud beep*_

Sorry about that – Big Rico's was closed by the meeting's end so I'm having ramen noodles tonight.

Dr. Cameron reported that the sun set normally tonight as well, though there was a bizarre blue flash shortly before it dipped below the horizon. I've heard about green flashes, but a blue one? I'll check it out tomorrow.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.

XxXx

Day Twenty-Six in Night Vale.

…Weird. Just got a strong feeling of déjà vu. Anyway, I'll have to cut this one short – the City Council is voting today to remove a door in Radon Canyon. It's keeping a bunch of Plutonium from killing everything in a hundred-mile radius, but they don't care! All they care about is how the warning sign on it is an eyesore.

I don't even have time for a proper dinner beforehand. I was planning on having some pizza, but I'll just grab some gum for now.

Lavender? That's a weird flavor. It's better than nothing, I suppose.

_*wrapper crinkling*_

Huh. Not bad. Anyway, the sun actually set on time yesterday. Dr. Donovan said it was five seconds early, but no one agreed with him. No sign of the glow cloud and no more city-wide panic attacks. Thank goodness.

On a semi-related note, Cecil survived…whatever the hell was happening with his bosses.

…Is that the time? _Crap. _I'm late. More notes will be added after the meeting.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

I got there just in time. Presented my case against the door removal to no avail. The measure was passed and now this whole town is doomed. Ab-so-lutely doomed.

_*loud beep*_

Sorry about that – Big Rico's was closed by the meeting's end so I'm having ramen noodles tonight.

Also on the meeting, one of the "angels" – which look nothing like the traditional type, by the way – gave me a funny look as I left the town hall. No idea what that was about.

Dr. Cameron reported that the sun set normally tonight as well, though there was a bizarre blue flash shortly before it dipped below the horizon. I've heard about green flashes, but a blue one? I'll have to check it out tomorrow.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.

XxXx

Day Twenty-Six in Night Vale.

…Weird. Just got a strong feeling of déjà vu. Anyway, I'll have to cut this one short – the City Council is voting today to remove a door in Radon Canyon. It's keeping a bunch of Plutonium from killing everything in a hundred-mile radius, but they don't care! All they care about is how the warning sign on it is an eyesore.

I don't even have time for –

_*phone rings*_

Really? Someone has to call me _now_? Hold on.

_*rattling noise*_

_*muffled speaking*_

Hello? Yes, this is Carlos.

I have to what? Eat at Big Rico's? I don't have time – I have to stop the Town Council from passing that measure tonight.

_Yes_, it's that important.

A little bit, but everyone gets déjà vu. That doesn't mean we're all trapped in time loops.

Look, I'm sorry, but I have to get going now.

_*phone clicking*_

_ *rattling noise*_

That was Old Woman Josie – she told me that her angels believe I'm trapped in some kind of Groundhog's Day-type scenario. I think something similar happened to Sheriff Carter back home, but the odds of it happening again in a completely town…

I can work out the odds later. Just in case, I'll try my hardest to stop the vote from passing. If anything could make a day repeat, it's that.

…Is that the time? _Crap_. I'm really late. I'll add more notes after the meeting.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

I didn't make it in time. Well, I should clarify. I was able to make my case just fine – and lost – but Big Rico's was closed by the time I got out. Old Woman Josie shot me a disapproving look when I showed up.

…Kind of reminded me of my abuela.

Anyway, since I didn't stop the vote, today's gonna repeat again. Wish there was a way to leave myself a note.

Wait, why is the memory light flashing? Lemme check – I'll get right back to notes soon.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Apparently this tape is almost full. I listened to it and I have three recordings on it – all of them for my twenty-sixth day in Night Vale. I have an idea, hopefully this'll work.

XxXx

Carlos, this is yourself. Yeah, I know it's weird, but stop thinking it out and _listen_, okay? You're – we're – I'm – whatever._ You're_ trapped in a time loop, repeating the same day over and over. When you listen to this, it'll be for the fourth time. You **_have _**to stop the measure from being passed. Do whatever it takes or you'll be trapped forever. Got it?

XxXx

I tried to stop the vote – even brought up the time loop – but no one would listen. I don't know if this is possible. One more time. If it doesn't work on my fifth time, I'll try something else.

XxXx

Guess what? I couldn't stop the vote. Again. I don't think it's possible. Old Woman Josie keeps telling me to eat at Big Rico's. I'll try to fit it in on my sixth try. Here's hoping.

XxXx

I'm right outside the courtroom. It doesn't seem like I'll have time to stop the vote _and_ eat at Big Rico's. I'll decide once I get in there.

_*running footsteps*_

_ *door slams open and shut*_

There is no time! No more time!

_*door slams open and shut*_

_ *running footsteps*_

I'm going to

_*pant*_

head to Big Rico's

_*pant*_

now. Hopefully, this will

_*pant*_

break the pattern. That's

_*pant*_

all for today. This is

_*pant*_

Dr. Carlos Munoz, re-

_*pant*_

cording from Night Vale.


	5. Chapter 5

Day Forty in Night Vale.

Obviously I am no longer trapped in a time loop. That was, quite possibly, the _weirdest_ event I have ever experienced. And considering I'm from Eureka and currently reside in Night Vale, that's saying a lot.

Just yesterday, some kid – a member of the football team, I think – grew a second head. For no reason! And nobody, besides my team, thought it was odd.

Speaking of my team, Dr. Tyler left to head back to Eureka earlier today. His sister's wedding is coming up soon. He should be back within a month.

…If he _wants_ to come back, that is.

Anyway, the sun has resumed refusing to set at a proper time. Wonderful. This week it's ranged from an hour late to fifty-nine minutes early. No more bizarre flashes – that might've been caused by the time loop, though.

Still no conclusive data from the non-existent house. To be honest, I think we're all too afraid to see what happens if we get too close. It's pretty freaky.

_*slow sigh*_

Cecil stopped by earlier. He was asking a bunch of questions about the _moon_ of all things. It's interesting finding out that some things non-Night Vale residents take for granted are brand new here.

And he was _so_ excited about it, too. I think Cecil had, like, a million things to ask me. He kept going on and on…I'm pretty sure I got them all. It was a little hard to understand him since he was talking so fast.

Cecil tried to give me a hug as thanks, but I just said that all he had to do was not talk about this on the radio. Time will tell if he keeps up his end of the deal. Knowing Cecil, he'll probably devote ten minutes just to talking about my "perfect" hair.

_*soft chuckle*_

Can't believe him sometimes…

…_Any_way, what was I talking about before I went off on a tangent? Oh, right – updates on our current studies!

No sign of the glow cloud, luckily. I still have nightmares about what happened to Dr. Finch. The chameleon never fully disintegrated, by the way. It had gotten down to just being a tail left when it disappeared.

What else…? Books finally started working again a few days ago. Well, when I say "work", what I mean is they have stopped trying to attack anyone who opens them. They're still unreadable, though. Every one of them is in some language neither I nor my team can recognize.

Dr. Green called for a linguistics expert, but hasn't heard back from Eureka yet. Hopefully we'll either be able to consult with one, or one will come and join us, before the books become readable again.

"Before the books become readable again". Put that on the list of things I thought I'd never say. Along with pretty much everything else that's happened in Night Vale. This town is incredible…and I'm not sure if I mean it in a good way or a bad way. It's definitely one of a kind, that's for sure. Like a snowflake.

Speaking of which…it's snowing outside! That's –

I was gonna say "impossible", but then I remembered that I'm in Night Vale, land of the impossible. Even then, Night Vale is in the middle of a desert. Stuck in a heat wave. In August. Who knows, it might not even be real snow. About as likely as actual snow.

_*loud thump*_

Someone just threw a snowball at the window. Probably some random kid. Anyway, I should probably get a sample or two. See if it's actual snow or not.

_*loud thump*_

Hopefully, whoever's throwing those things won't hit me.

…Wait, I think that's Dr. Jacobs.

I think he's challenging me to a snowball fight. That would be an easy way to get samples, right? Besides, I can't let him think I'm too scared to fight him.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	6. Chapter 6

Day Fifty-Four in Night Vale.

Dr. Tyler called yesterday to say that he isn't coming back to Night Vale. He _says_ it's because he can't find our location on the map, but I think he just doesn't want to deal with all of the crazy stuff here anymore. Considering he was nearly electrocuted by a book, I can't say I blame him.

…Actually, I'm surprised no one else wants to leave yet. I'm surprised _I _don't want to leave. No, I know why I don't want to leave. It's the same reason why I became a scientist – I'm fascinated with learning how and why things work. Like, why do baking soda and coke create a jet stream of soda when mixed together? How does a cloud make rain?

And there's no shortage of things to figure out here in Night Vale. Everywhere I turn I find a new mystery lurking around the corner. Another phenomenon to investigate. When the grant's used up, they might have to drag me out of here.

Most of the people aren't too bad, either, lack of concern over their town's oddness aside. Old Woman Josie invites me over for dinner about once a week, Steve Carlsburg's given me directions a couple of times…

What's Cecil's beef with Steve anyways? Did they use to date or something?

N-not that I _care_ who Cecil's dated or anything, it's just – I was just – whatever.

_Anyway_, the undetectable earthquakes have started up again. Not as bad as they were the first day, though. Basically the equivalent of tremors. Still have no idea how no one in Night Vale can feel them.

I called Cecil so he could warn the town, but only got a busy signal. So much for _that_ idea.

In other news, a miniaturized train set has suddenly appeared outside Big Rico's. I don't mean that it wasn't there last night and was there by morning, I saw it pop into existence with my own eyes. One second an empty parking lot, the next the lot was completely filled with the train set.

I went over to investigate around noon today. The trains, from what I could tell, didn't run on batteries or charge. Puffs of black smoke were coming out of the smokestack. That seems to suggest they were running on burning coal, but how?

They'd either have to refuel automatically – uncommon, but not impossible, I guess – or there were miniature people inside the trains. The second option would normally be impossible, but having lived in Night Vale for nearly two months, I've learned that the impossible explanation is usually the right one.

I crouched down beside one of the slower trains to look inside when Cecil interrupted me. I don't have the best memory, so I doubt this is accurate.

"What are you doing down there?" He asked.

"Investigating the train," I answered. "It just appeared out of nowhere."

Cecil just stared at me for a moment before nodding eagerly. "Makes sense. Have you found anything interesting yet?"

I stood up. "Yeah – the trains seem to be coal powered, which is unusual for miniature train sets. Usually they run on batteries. I've seen a few expensive ones that were solar powered – you know, they had solar panels on the roofs – but those are pretty rare."

"Well, if you find anything dangerous," he began, "and the show's not going, you can call me at home." With that, he handed me a piece of paper with a number scribbled on it and walked away.

I spent about another hour looking, even ate lunch there, but found nothing of consequence.

If it wouldn't cause another time loop, I don't think I'd eat at Big Rico's anymore. I tried the "slice of the day" and my stomach's been knotting up ever since. My palms were sweating earlier as well – maybe I've caught a cold?

Note to self to pick up some cold medicine later.

Anyway, sunsets have been occurring at a normal time, but now sun_rises_ are acting weird. The sun has been rising in increased amounts for the past week – two minutes, then four, eight, sixteen, and so on. Dr. Vorpal was the first to notice this as she always gets up before the crack of dawn.

Books returned to being in their natural languages a few days ago. We were able to get an expert to translate one passage, but it just came out to be a bunch of nonsensical words. When they went back to normal, their stories had returned as well. Don't have an explanation for that either. Oh well.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	7. Chapter 7

Hi! I just wanted to preface this chapter to thank everyone who's favorited, followed, and reviewed. I appreciate all of you who have done so. More reviews would always be nice, but I'll still update whether or not I get them. This is the longest fanfiction I have ever written, and thusly I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you current and future readers continue to enjoy this story. And now, without further ado, chapter seven.

* * *

Day Sixty-Eight in Night Vale.

…Ran into Cecil earlier today. He looked kind of pale, and I think his hands were shaking. I asked him what was wrong and he said that re-education was a little tougher than expected, but he was fine. He didn't _look_ fine though.

Note to self to find out what re-education is. I'm not sure I'll like the answer. Also, find medicine more geared towards stomach pain. Either I've developed allergies to the food here, or I'm coming down with something. Weird.

In non-related to my life news, sunrises have settled on being a full hour early. This is throwing off nearly everyone on my team's schedules and making them more irritable. And an even more short-tempered Dr. Green is _not_ good. At all.

_*annoyed sigh*_

Anyway, the train set is still outside of Big Rico's Pizza. I can see it out my office window right now. It hasn't shifted positions or size or transformed into a cat – it just sits there. Aside from its bizarre origins and creepy power source, the train set seems completely normal. That actually makes it seem even weirder.

Only in Night Vale could normality seem weird.

Tried asking Rico – the owner of the pizza place – about the train set last week. The only legible thing I got from him about it was that profits had risen quite a bit since it showed up. And I _think_ Rico said something about how he liked the color of the caboose, but I'm not exactly sure.

Cecil was there to report about the interview. No idea why that would be news-worthy. We didn't get to talk, but he did wave at me as I was leaving.

…He's not that bad. Seemed pretty creepy at first – what, with talking about me and my hair so much – but he's actually pretty harmless and kind of nice. And c –

Never mind.

The mini-tornados have made a re-appearance. Same approximate height, same tendency to run away, but now they're a light shade of purple. I'd say lavender if I had to be specific. Dr. Jacobs and Dr. Green are out trying to record data right now. I have a nagging suspicion that they won't be successful, but I'll try to remain optimistic.

Kinda hard to survive here in Night Vale if you're not optimistic. I mean, we haven't gotten much concrete data yet – despite being here for two months – but we haven't given up yet. At least, I haven't. I'm a little scared to ask any of the others. They might want to leave like Dr. Tyler did, and we barely have enough people as it is.

I've thought about contacting Director Deacon and requesting that he send a few more scientists in, but it'd take them a long time to get used to Night Vale.

Hope things are going okay back home. I look up the news on the Internet when I can, but that doesn't reveal a whole lot.

…Huh. Looks like someone's out by the train set even though Big Rico's is closed. I'm gonna go check it out. Will return soon.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

That was weird. And I don't mean just "Night Vale" weird. I think…I think what just happened is weird even by this town's standards. Assuming that's possible.

Anyway, I went over to the train set, like I said I would, and there were three figures standing by it. They were about four feet tall, lilac skinned, and all three had short, lime green, hair. Otherwise, they looked like normal human beings.

One of them was carrying a black device that was the size of a deck of cards. It was beeping as wildly as when I brought the Geiger counter to the radio station. They all turned to stare at me as I approached.

The device carrying one – referred to as "Uno" from now on for convenience's sake – was the first to speak.

"Cree-tings yooman," Uno said. "Do not warry. We are jussst porforming sum tests on this…"

"T-t-train set?" I offered.

"Thanks much. This t-t-train set contains high amunts of –" And here Uno spit out a sound like the chain on roller-coasters. "Eeet's eelegal on class Zwen planeets."

"Got it," I said, even though I had no idea what Uno was talking about. I thought it was better to _not _provoke the most-likely-an-alien.

"We shell contain the – insert roller-coaster chain sound here," another alien – "Dos" – added, "and than countact your world's leeder."

"Have a neece evening," Uno told me.

"Um, you too," I replied. With that, the three figures – and the train – disappeared. I walked back to the lab in complete and utter shock. I mean, aliens? Night Vale has _aliens_ now?

_Great_. Just when I thought things here couldn't get any weirder.

Maybe I should call Cecil, ask him to send the word out tomorrow.

…Probably shouldn't. He might still be recovering from that "re-education" thing from earlier today. Plus, if I call his home phone, he might take it the wrong way and think I reciprocate his feelings or something. Which I _don't_, by the way. No matter what anyone else on my team thinks.

They're just seeing things that aren't there.

Anyway, I'll just call Cecil during the show tomorrow and he can tell the town then.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	8. Chapter 8

Day Eighty-Two in Night Vale.

Trying to warn the town about the aliens did not go well. At all.

Cecil was feeling better by the next day, luckily, and picked up the station phone after the first ring. I told him about the aliens as best I could. If I stuttered or stumbled at all, let the official word be that I was still shaken up from discovering that life exists on another planet.

_*muffled laughter*_

Sure, Carlos! Like you _don't_ have a crush on Cecil.

I don't, Lucy!

Denial isn't _just_ a river, you know.

_*long, annoyed sigh*_

Sorry about that. Dr. Green just randomly decided to unprofessionally add to my recording notes. Where was I…? Oh, yeah – the alien disaster.

So, I told Cecil about the aliens. When I had gotten that out, he started laughing at me! Okay, it was more of a chuckle, but still. _Then_ he went on to say that _of course_ there were aliens by Big Rico's. Apparently they come for a slice each year, but this time were distracted by the train set, which is where I came in. In addition, said information is on the "Welcome to Night Vale" introduction brochures my team was given on day one. The same brochure I just glanced over and then tucked away in a drawer somewhere.

Cecil went on to tell me that I should be more careful in the future and, thusly, have to read the brochure in more detail. He then thanked me for the call and I hung up.

…I feel like _such_ an idiot. Why didn't I read that stupid brochure _before_ I made a fool of myself?

In unrelated news that doesn't embarrass me in any way, strange billboards have popped up all over town. They have a picture of some kind of sandwich and the phrase "harlot" in bold lettering. The billboards have appeared on not only road sides, but in people's homes, the middle of busy streets, and even inside a dog. There is currently no explanation for them.

I'm going to stop by the radio station later – there were colored lights flashing from the Radon Canyon area last weekend, accompanied by unintelligible noises. None of the phones here in the lab seem to be working today, hence the reason I have to go in person. Wonderful. I'll be recording my findings on the phenomenon then. That way I can record live what someone born in Night Vale thinks of these strange happenings.

Actually, I should leave now if I want to get there before the show starts.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Okay, I'm recording live from NVCR – aka Night Vale Community Radio. An intern just went to knock on the studio door for me.

She just waved at me – think that means I can head over.

_*soft footsteps*_

He-hello? Can I come in?

Carlos!

_*chair scraping*_

Of course you can come in! You're always welcome here. At least, as long as Station Management okays it.

…Right. Anyway, there's something I'd like you to tell the town about, but the phones weren't working so I had to come in person.

Sure, what is it? Are you looking for someone to eat dinner with? Or weekend company?

Wh-what? No, of course not! I was going to request that you ask your listeners if any of them saw strange, colored flickers from Radon Canyon last weekend. They were accompanied by unintelligible noises that could've been a code or some kind of signal jamming.

Sounds neat!

It's not "neat", Cecil. There could be something sinister at work here. You and the town could all be in danger.

I understand. Hey, d'you want to stay and do a live interview? There's enough time in the show to fit it in.

_*slow, soft sigh*_

No thanks. I'm just scared for you. You and this strange town.

_*footsteps*_

_ *door clicking open and shut*_

_ *more footsteps*_

I can't believe him! Something weird – and potentially dangerous – is going on, and what's his reaction? "Neat"!

I'm gonna head back to the lab now. Will resume notes when I get there.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Just heard from Dr. Donovan. He was listening to Cecil's show, and apparently the glow cloud is back. Also, no one in town seems to remember it or have any recordings from that day, which is weird because no one on my team was affected in that way. Maybe it's because we're not from here or –

Hey, Carlos! Your boyfriend's on the phone!

He's not my – wait, I thought they weren't working.

Only sort of. We can apparently_ get_ calls, but can't call anyone. Anyway, do you want to take it or not?

Um, sure! Give me a sec.

I don't want to keep cutting in and out and this report, so I'll just add what Cecil has to say on the next set of notes. Only if it's important, of course.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	9. Chapter 9

Day Ninety-Four in Night Vale.

I mentioned in my last set of notes that if Cecil told me anything important, I'd add it here. Well, he informed me that the lights and noises were a part of a "Pink Floyd Multimedia Laser Spectacular". I told him, mostly jokingly, that this meant the situation was even worse than I thought.

Cecil took me seriously.

_*slow sigh*_

I don't understand him. He believes me when I say a Pink Floyd show is a threat, but thinks surprisingly not-deadly books are. He has no idea what the moon is, and accepts whatever his bosses tell him. He thinks that five-headed dragons, non-accessible dog parks, and Lovecraftian creatures are completely normal things. At least Cecil considers the last one to be a threat, though.

Oh, well.

Anyway, a gigantic pyramid has shown up in the middle of Beatrix Loman Memorial meditation zone. It destroyed half of the zone's equipment and various bits and pieces. Luckily enough, no one was killed. I think one of the interns there got a leg crushed, but that's it. Not bad for a random Night Vale occurrence.

The blasé-ness must be catchable. Three months ago I would've been horrified by someone getting their leg crushed, but now…

I think it's just that so many worse things have happened that an injury – however bad – isn't much in comparison. Is this what Cecil felt like back when that one person was killed by the glow cloud? That other events had resulted in more deaths, so one wasn't that bad comparatively? Huh.

Dr. Cameron and Dr. Vorpal left to investigate the pyramid an hour ago. Haven't heard back from them at all. Either means they're too busy to call, something's happened to their cell phones, or something's happened to them. Considering where we are, any of the three options is plausible.

Heard from Dr. Jacobs – who was out in the sand wastes yesterday – that Telly, my ex-barber, is currently out there trying to give haircuts to cacti. He also yelled at the sky while holding some of my hair.

I-It's my fault he's like this. If I hadn't gotten my hair cut, this never would've happened.

But how the hell was I supposed to know that Cecil would basically start a witch hunt because of it?

Are haircuts just not allowed in Night Vale? Was there a temporary ban on them? Does Cecil react like that every time someone he likes gets their hair cut or is it just me? Can I ever get another hair cut without dooming some other barber?

_*annoyed sigh*_

Can't believe my luck. Every guy I've ever had a crush on turns out to be crazy, a criminal, and/or just plain creepy! So much for breaking that streak…

_Shit_.

_ *clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Sorry for cutting out like that. It's just that accidentally admitting I have feelings for someone is _not_ something I want heading back to GD. But, apparently, once something's recorded on here I don't have the power to erase it. I have to get permission to erase something, and there's not much of a chance I'll be able get it if the sole reason I have is to not embarrass myself.

Wonderful.

I-um, anyway, I've heard back from Dr. Cameron and Dr. Vorpal. The pyramid "spoke" a message that seems to be repeating endlessly. They made a recording of the message.

_*rustling noise*_

"_**I WILL PLACE WITHIN SOME OF YOU QUESTIONS. WITHIN OTHERS, I WILL PLACE QUESTIONS AND THESE ANSWERS WILL NOT ALWAYS ALIGN. THE QUESTIONS I PROVIDE MAY HAVE NO ANSWERS, AND THE ANSWERS I PROVIDE MAY HAVE NO QUESTIONS. I WILL STUDY THE EFFECTS OF THESE QUESTIONS AND THESE ANSWERS. SOME OF YOU WILL HURT OTHERS. AND OTHERS WILL HEAL. GROW MY SEEDS INSIDE YOU, AND LET THEM FLOWER.**__"_

Dr. Cameron also reported that missiles have been launched at the pyramid in an apparent effort to destroy it. No one was hurt. Not even the pyramid. It didn't get a single scratch or smudge.

I wonder what it's made of. Can't think of anything off the top of my head that could resist a missile attack. Maybe an alien brought it here. One kind likes pizza, another drops ridiculously indestructible pyramids?

Doesn't make much sense, but then not much in Night Vale does. Fairy tale characters could start running around town and the native residents would barely blink.

Hopefully that'll never happen. Magic in Night Vale would only spell disaster.

_*soft chuckle*_

_*loud beep*_

Just got a text from Dr. Vorpal – apparently the pyramid sent out another message. She was unable to start recording in time, but it was about death and its – the pyramid's – purpose.

Where are the messages coming from? Are they a recording or is the pyramid, for lack of a better word, speaking them itself? Would that make it sentient? How would that work?

…Kind of makes me wish I had gone with them earlier, but it's too late now. I volunteered to keep an eye on a butterfly Dr. Jacobs had caught yesterday. He apparently wanted to be an entomologist when he was a kid.

Anyway, Dr. Jacobs was just going to display the butterfly in his apartment, but he noticed that it had some unusual markings on its wings. Those markings are yellow-orange spirals on a shockingly bright electric blue background. For a strange combination, it's quite beautiful.

A nearly-unanimous vote has named the butterfly Mortimer, or Mo for short.

He hasn't done much of anything yet. So far, Mo eats like a normal butterfly, looks like one if you don't count the wings, and seems to act like one.

Even though it's only been a day, I think the team has semi-declared him as our mascot of sorts. As long as Mo doesn't suddenly become violent and attack us in our sleep, I'm fine with a mascot. It's actually kind of normal – something desperately needed here in Night Vale.

Speaking of the team, we're going to be down another member tomorrow. Dr. Donovan only signed up for three months as he was the head of a lab back in GD. In addition, his wife Jo is still back in Eureka.

Director Deacon has said that since this is the third person we've lost in as many months, he'll send some more people over as soon as he can. That'll be nice – once Dr. Donovan leaves there's only gonna be five, including myself, of us left. Keeping up with research would be even harder than it already is.

_*loud beep*_

Another text from Dr. Vorpal. The pyramid just disappeared. It broadcasted a final message – something about maps and death – before vanishing in a puff of rainbow colored smoke. Dr. Vorpal and Dr. Cameron should be back in about twenty minutes.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	10. Chapter 10

Day One Hundred and Eight in Night Vale.

I am currently hiding in my office with a chair blocking the door. Th-There is a pack of wild and potentially rabid pack of dogs roaming Night Vale. They have already attacked a bunch of school kids, who apparently fended them off with nerve gas and automatic pistols.

What kind of a town gives kids weapons like that – hell, weapons _period_?

Anyway, the d-dogs have been sighted all over town. One of them has three heads like Cerberus from Greek mythology. He – or she – has been sighted wearing medals and chevrons. The v-shaped medal kind of chevron, not the symbol from the Stargate series.

Most of the team is safe inside the lab. Dr. Cameron was out getting groceries when the dogs started attacking. I currently have no idea if he's alive or not as he's left his cellphone in the lab. Again. No matter _how _many times we remind Dr. Cameron, he always forgets it.

Dr. Green keeps threatening to cover his house in sticky notes that read "cellphone", but, to my knowledge, hasn't made good on it. She did tape his cellphone to his van's steering wheel once, though. When Dr. Cameron forgot to bring it into the lab, Dr. Green yelled at him for five minutes straight.

I think they have a date scheduled for next week.

In other news, Dr. Donovan reached Eureka safely. He sent an email a few days back saying that he's looked for Night Vale on every map and couldn't find it. He even checked Google Earth – no luck. I guess Dr. Tyler wasn't lying when he said he couldn't find Night Vale three months ago. Kind of feel sorry for accusing him of lying.

I've also heard from Director Deacon. He let me know that three scientists should be arriving either next week or the week after. Two women and one man, I think he said; Dr. Bering, Dr. Ford, and Dr. Nolan.

Dr. Nolan was in my grade, if I remember right. He read so many books I'm still surprised he didn't become an English teacher. Oh well.

_*muffled growling*_

Th-The dogs are right outside my window. They're c-currently –_shit_. They're st-stacked on each other's shoulders – don't ask me how – and-and are barking crazily at me. I-I'm g-gonna find a better place to hide.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

I'm hiding in the hall closet now. Can still faintly he-hear them barking in the distance, but at least I can't see them anymore.

I apologize for freaking out before – it's just that I've been scared of dogs, the tough, stereotypically vicious kind, I mean, ever since I was a kid.

There was this one kid who used to bully me and he had a dog like that. He'd always threaten to attack me with it, and one day it got loose. Actually wasn't his fault. Anyway, it got loose and cornered me as I was walking home. I got scratched pretty bad, even had to get a few stitches. Still have the scar.

Dr. Cameron hasn't shown up yet. I hope he's still alive. Why didn't –

_*cellphone rings*_

Hello? Who is this?

Y-yeah, I'm okay, Cecil. How's the station holding up?

That's good.

…You're kidding, right? _Plastic bags?_ They manage to get the dogs under control, and the mayor's claiming that all that happened was plastic bags floating in the breeze? I was _not_ nearly killed by a plastic bag, Cecil!

Wha – no, I didn't get hurt. I said I was okay, didn't I? They were right outside my window, though. Almost got in.

Yeah. I still don't believe that they were plastic bags, but thank you for updating me anyways. Now I can stop hiding in the closet.

Forget I said that, please.

Goodbye.

_*cellphone clicks shut*_

_*annoyed sigh*_

Can't believe I told him I was hiding in the closet. He must think I'm some sort of scaredy-cat. I'm so _stupid_.

_*door opens*_

I'm going to tell everyone that the "plastic bags" are gone. Hopefully Dr. Cameron got inside while I was hiding.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	11. Chapter 11

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Two in Night Vale.

Dr. Cameron got back to the lab about fifteen minutes after Cecil called. His lab coat got a little torn in a mass stampede for the cellar when the "plastic bags" attacked, but he was otherwise alright.

The three new doctors arrived five days ago. I forced them to read the brochure in an effort to get them partially adjusted to Night Vale. It…sort of helped. They're still in the "everything is completely crazy how the hell is this happening" stage. But then they've been here less than a week, so their reactions make sense I suppose.

Dr. Ford's doing the best, I think – she's apparently a big fan of supernatural and sci-fi type shows and that seems to be helping. Whatever works.

The sun has gone back to setting later than normal. It's been increasing in increments of three minutes for the past week and a half. Thought that problem was over and done with.

…That's probably not something that I should consider as an option ever again. I mean, that came back, the glow cloud came ba-

_*loud crash*_

_*muffled yelling*_

What's going on over there? Is everything okay?

Not really, Carlos! My sandwich just – _shit shit __**shit**_! Someone get a net or something! **_Now!_**

_*clattering*_

I'm gonna go check that out, see if Dr. Vorpal's alright. Be right back.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Good news: Dr. Vorpal's fine. A little freaked out, but ultimately fine. The _bad_ news – and I can_not_ believe I'm saying this – the bread in her sandwich turned into a forest green snake. A _snake_.

It's about three feet long, is hooded like a cobra, has four spikes on its tail's tip, and has fangs. I'm hoping that it's not poisonous, as Dr. Cameron was bitten. Dr. Green's taking him to the hospital as I speak.

I know snakes with fangs are poisonous, but this _is_ Night Vale we're in. Who knows what can happen?

_*door clicks open*_

Dr. Munoz?

Yes? You can call me Carlos, y'know – we're not that strict around here.

Um, okay. Carlos, we got the results back from the snake's fangs.

And?

Y-You're not going to like this.

What…Oh. Give me a sec, and I'll join you in Lab Two, right?

Yeah. See you there.

_*slow sigh*_

That was Dr. Bering. I'm pretty sure the snake's going to turn out to be poisonous. Don't know what this is gonna mean for Dr. Cameron, though. If we can get an antidote created in time he _might _be okay.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

It's poisonous. Very poisonous. It's worse than…whatever snake's the most poisonous. Don't know which off the top of my head. Everyone who has the slightest bit of knowledge on snake venom – Dr. Ford and Dr. Jacobs – and even the rest of us who don't are doing their best to help.

The only reason _I'm_ not currently helping is that someone has to warn the town, and since having Cecil broadcast the news is the best way to do so, I volunteered to be the one to call him. Here goes nothing…

Hey, Cecil. I'm not calling for personal reasons – there's something wrong with the bread in town. It's all turning into very poisonous snakes.

You-you already know that?

Right, right.

_*embarrassed chuckle*_

Should've remembered there's more scientists in town besides my team. It's just that we seem to be the only ones that point out when dangerous stuff happens – probably 'cause most of it's par for the course here.

Oh, thank you.

Just one – Dr. Cameron. We got him to the hospital as soon as he got bit and we're working on an antidote, so he should be okay. I hope.

Anyway, I'll let you know as soon as we get the antidote.

Goodbye.

_*cellphone clicks shut*_

That didn't go too badly.

Something I forgot to mention earlier – Cecil stopped by last week. Apparently the city controller received a check from FEMA about a 9.7 earthquake Night Vale went through. He basically asked about the town's inability to experience tectonic shifts.

Why he's interested in that now when he wasn't four months ago…I don't know. Maybe because the earthquake was worse this time? Or they didn't get anything from it back then so it didn't really matter? Whatever.

Dr. Nolan got a recording of the "interview" for me to send in. I'll just play it for the notes and kill two birds with one stone.

"'Carlos, since you've recorded massive tremor activity before, I was wondering if you could help me with something.'

'It was mostly Dr. Tyler, but yeah, I can try to help.'

'Well, City Controller Waynetta Barnett got a check the other day from the government. Apparently Night Vale was inflicted with a 9.7 earthquake, and the check was sent to help with recovery efforts.

'_Obviously_ nothing's happened to this fair city and I was wondering if you could give an answer as to why that could be.'

'I already-but you-the town-what?'

_*slow sigh*_

'There's something else I'd like to ask. Where'd you get your shirt? It fits you very well.'

'I'll look at some notes and Dr. Tyler's old computer models; see if I can figure out what's going on. If I do, I'll call the station and let you know. Okay?'

'Sounds _great_, Carlos. I can't wait to hear from you again.'"

There's that taken care of. In other news –

_*loud crash*_

Great, _now _what's happening? I think I'm gonna stop here, and mention Dr. Cameron's condition in my next set of notes.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	12. Chapter 12

Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I updated my profile and put up the first and last names of the scientists in this story. If you're interested, please check it out. Also I have specific reasons behind most of the names - if you want to know what those are, let me know.

* * *

Day One Hundred and Thirty-Six in Night Vale.

We got the antidote to Dr. Cameron in time. He's on sick leave – which he hates – but should be back early next week. He keeps trying to sneak into the lab in the mean time, but someone, usually Dr. Green, catches him and drives him back to his apartment.

That's the good news. The bad news?

_*slow sigh*_

Dr. Cameron wasn't the only one bitten. Dr. Jacobs was as well, but instead of acting like the genius he so often claimed to be, he never told anyone. I think it was because no one else – other than Dr. Nolan – knows to create a snake venom antidote and, even then, Dr. Jacobs was more of an expert.

Yes, "was". By the time the rest of us realized that he'd been bitten, the venom had spread too far. We tried the antidote but it didn't work. He died the day after being bitten.

Rest in peace, Harry.

…Unrelated to that, the loud crashing I had heard at the end of my last set of notes was caused by the snakes turning into a swirling cloud of dust and debris. It shouted something in Latin as we contained it in the freezer room – if my high school classes were correct, the phrase, translated ridiculously loosely, means, "A curse upon you and your descendants! You will never again sense the presence of invisible turkeys!"

It was either "invisible turkeys" or "Turkish invaders". My Latin's kinda rusty.

Anyway, we got it locked away in the freezer and it disappeared somewhere between then and two days later. On his show, Cecil described the thing as a "malevolent spirit". O-kay then.

Sunsets in Old Town Night Vale have been shrieking. It's been going on a while, apparently, but no one in main Night Vale can hear it. If Dr. Ford hadn't been investigating a bizarre disappearance over there at the right time, we never would've known.

Looking into the matter, we discovered that several strange things have been happening at the same time as the sunsets. There were two non-fatal heart attacks, twelve cases of severe muscle atrophy, and around two dozen people grew extra eyes.

We talked to the president of the community group "Soundproof Old Town!", a man named Walton Kincaid. He had spoken out against the Town Council's claim that the noise came from windmill farms out by Desert Bluffs. According to Kincaid, and later backed by a trip led by Dr. Nolan, the windmill farms are nonexistent.

Kincaid also claimed that the farms don't work because of, and I quote, "Desert Bluff's _staggering _incompetence". How something can't work if it doesn't exist, I have absolutely no idea.

I mean, there's a farmer on the edge of town who grows imaginary corn and yet receives a grant of $500,000. A few of the times I've eaten at Old Woman Josie's she's served that corn. Far as I can tell it tastes exactly the same as normal corn even though it's imaginary.

There's a lot of interesting – and dangerous – things to investigate here in Night Vale, but there isn't a lot of answers. Stuff happens without a viable explanation. It's kinda hard to be a scientist in Night Vale as a result, but neither I nor my team is ready to give up.

The five-headed dragon was apparently arrested the other day. He has five heads, breathes fire, and can fly…yet the "secret" police needed to fingerprint him in order to confirm that he's a dragon.

_*slow sigh*_

The non-shrieking sunsets are occuring at a normal time, while the sunrises have been starting five minutes later than they're supposed to.

In other news, Cecil's going on and on about the dragon – Hiram McDaniels, I think his name is. He's apparently "very dynamic-looking" and has "piercing" eyes. How is that relevant to a story about his arrest?

Anyways, Mo the butterfly is still alive. We've been managing to find the right kind of leaves and things to feed him with.

He hasn't eaten much since Dr. Jacobs died.

If butterflies can mourn, I think that's what Mo's been doing. Besides the loss in appetite, he hasn't done a lot of flying and his antennae droop when we're not looking directly at him. Dr. Bering's volunteered to look for another butterfly to keep Mo company. Hope that works.

"Roguish dragon"? How – never mind. And who cares if he has a blog?

Whatever.

Back to more science-y things, the glow cloud – which is still on the school board – hasn't dropped any more dead animals yet. Its…kid, I guess, has dropped a few kittens, but those have thus far survived.

I think Dr. Vorpal is considering adopting one – she's a huge cat person.

The City Council is voting next Thursday to outlaw breathing as an involuntary muscular action. I sincerely hope that doesn't pass. But considering they've already outlawed writing utensils…who knows?

Fingers crossed.

That's all for tonight. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	13. Chapter 13

Day One Hundred and Fifty-Five in Night Vale.

This is my first day back in Night Vale after Christmas. It was…kind of weird going back home. Everything was so _normal_. Mi mamá cooked a giant chicken like she does every year. Gabe and Tory – my brother and sister – were bickering over who got to eat abuela's crema catalana first. My two nieces and nephew dragged me into several games of tag.

We opened presents after dinner, like always, and everyone talked about what's happened since we last got together. I knew they wouldn't believe me if I told them the truth about Night Vale, so I fudged a few details here and there. Made the mistake of bringing up how often Cecil talks about me. Tory started teasing me about him, and Mamá wants me to bring my "boyfriend" with me the next time I go home.

I love them, I really do, but…

_*annoyed sigh*_

Family. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

In other news, things have been pretty calm since I've gotten back. The sun's still rising at the wrong time, and the undetectable earthquakes have shown up again.

Dr. Bering was able to get Mo – the butterfly – a friend before she left for Christmas. We've named her Teresa. She's normal by comparison – a monarch butterfly. Granted, it's still weird to find a monarch butterfly in the middle of the desert, but she _looks_ normal at least.

What else?

Oh, Cecil sent me a Christmas present – a brand new lab coat. In my size. How he knew my size and why he sent me a present I don't think I'll ever know. It was nice of him, though.

Should probably get him something as a thank you.

Anyway, I think this is –

_*door clicking open*_

Lucy? What's up?

We've got something on the non-existent house you're gonna wanna see.

What is it?

You won't believe it unless you see it, trust me.

O-kay…Give me a sec, and I'll be right out.

_*door clicks shut*_

Huh. Well, I'll resume these notes as soon as I get back.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

…I don't think I'll ever stop being surprised by Night Vale. Ever. For the rest of my time here. Hooded figures, living tornados, aliens, and now? Now – and I cannot believe I'm saying this – Santa.

Yes, _Santa_. The jolly fat guy in red and white that brings presents to the "nice" kids on Christmas Eve. He's real. And so are Mrs. Claus, the elves, Rudolph, and all the reindeer. Apparently they spend the winters here in Night Vale.

My nieces and nephew would _love _this. If they heard about Santa being here, no one would get any rest until they were allowed to come to Night Vale. And it's too dangerous for them to be here, so I can't let them find out.

Anyway, Santa and co. stay in that non-existent house my team's never gone in. Or up to, even.

Didn't get a straight answer as to why the house doesn't seem to exist, but I finally got an explanation as to why I didn't get that chemistry set I wanted when I was twelve. It was, and I quote, "too dangerous for a little kid".

I wasn't _that_ little.

Back  
on track, Santa invited those of us who were there – me, Dr. Green, and Dr. Nolan – inside, but we all declined. We, uh, still had stuff to do back in the lab. We weren't scared or anything. That would be silly.

Mrs. Claus offered us cookies instead. They tasted like chocolate chip to me, but Dr. Green swore that they were peanut butter. Dr. Nolan said he thought they were M&M.

I asked her – Mrs. Claus – about how the same cookies could taste differently for different people. All I got for an answer was a pinched cheek and a, "Aren't you an inquisitive one?"

Not very helpful. And my cheek still hurts.

Before they all went inside, Santa gave me a small box, saying that I should give it to Cecil. I have no idea what's inside it, but if anyone would know what the perfect gift would be, it'd be Santa, right?

I'll give it to him tomorrow, I think.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	14. Chapter 14

Day One Hundred and Sixty-Nine in Night Vale.

It's now the second day of 2013, and about five and a half months since me and my team came to Night Vale.

There were fireworks over the no longer existing "Night Vale Harbor and Waterfront Recreation Area". Which, by the way, the Town Council is denying ever having built. I kinda understand – it'd be embarrassing to have a water-related structure be built in the middle of the desert.

How it got built in the first place? No clue.

I sent Cecil that present Santa said I should give him. Cecil spent five minutes waxing poetic just about how I had given him a gift. And then, when he got to what the gift actually _was_?

I – Honestly, I was expecting something really weird or freaky or – basically, something Night Vale-ish, but it was actually normal.

It was a signed copy of the seventh Harry Potter book. Apparently Cecil's a huge fan of the series.

He went on a whole spiel about how that's his _favorite_ book series, and how much he loves them – and me for giving this to him. His favorite character's Luna, he thinks he'd be sorted into Hufflepuff, and believes that Night Vale should start up a Quidditch team.

Knowing this town, a Quidditch team could be possible.

…That would be kind of cool, actually.

Anyways, Dr. Vorpal ran into a strange man the other day. She described him as a man wearing a tan jacket who carried a leather briefcase. We asked her lots of questions, but that's all she could remember about him.

If this was Doctor Who, I'd say he was wearing a perception filter – a device that forces people to ignore you without turning you invisible – but that's just a tv show.

Then again, aliens are apparently real and Cecil's mentioned time travel a couple of times…

Nah. There's Night Vale weird and then there's downright impossible.

It could be a real-world equivalent, though. Some sort of highly sophisticated stealth technology. If it reflected light or something, made your face invisible, that might work. Or maybe –

Sorry. I kinda tend to go off on tangents when I'm trying to figure stuff out. Which is why I usually work in the lab when no one else is there – Dr. Green has mentioned more than once how annoying it is when I'm doing a running monologue under my breath.

In addition to the man in a tan jacket, my team has also investigated Teddy Williams' – owner of the local bowling alley – claims of a city beneath lane five. We haven't found anything conclusive yet.

Yesterday, Williams showed us security footage that he believes holds the first images of that city's citizens. I can't speak for everyone, but what I saw looked like a raccoon or something searching a vending machine for food. The shape is so blurry, though, that it could almost be anything.

We may or may not continue to look into that. Dunno yet.

Anyway, Cecil's currently talking about how Old Woman Josie's called in about that strange man. She said that he's a fly salesman - which is apparently an actual job around here – but she doesn't know anything else because the angels told her the knowledge could jeopardize her "eternal soul".

Sure.

In other news, cacti have been walking.

I almost hit one driving to work the other day – it was smack dab in the middle of the road. Dr. Ford woke up one morning to find a cactus in her kitchen. And Dr. Bering walked right into one exiting Big Rico's last night.

We know it's not random teleportation because after Dr. Bering ran into the cactus, it – according to her – glared at her for a good ten seconds before sprouting three feet and walking away. Sort of. It made tiny circles as it went down the street.

This is probably normal to Night Vale, so I won't ask Cecil to warn the town just yet. Knowing my luck, they're gonna start doing something dangerous, I'll call him, and get laughed at. Not in a condescending way, but in a you're-so-_adorable_-when-you-don't-understand-how-this-town-works way. It'll be really embarrassing and I'll hate how I made a fool of myself again and then Cecil will talk about it on the radio and the entire town'll know.

_*annoyed sigh*_

Does he have to keep doing that? Give every detail on every encounter we've ever had? The one time he didn't do so is when I specifically told him not to, and that was apparently a one-time deal.

Still, if he changed too much he wouldn't be Cecil anymore, and I wouldn't want that to happen.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	15. Chapter 15

Day One Hundred and Eighty-Three in Night Vale.

Today marks the six-month anniversary of my original team's arrival in Night Vale. Hard to believe we've been here that long…

Oh, and it's apparently "street cleaning day". All the introduction brochure says is, "Run. Run for your life. Run and hide in your puny homes, ye mortals and despair. DESPAIR."

O-kay, then. That's not very helpful.

Is this actually something I should be worried about? Or is it more like the moon, and it's only scary to Night Vale because they don't know what it is? Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Anyway, there hasn't been any sign of the man in the tan jacket over the last two weeks. Which, in my opinion, is good – though I haven't seen him yet, he kinda scares me. I mean, you run into him and the only thing you can remember is an article of clothing, a briefcase, and that he's a guy.

_*muffled scream*_

What the – ? What was that?

_*door clicks open*_

You heard that, Jason, right?

If you're referring to that blood-curdling scream from a second ago – yeah, I did. What d'you think caused it?

Might be that street cleaning day thing from our brochure. Think I'll go check it out. Maybe see if the council's issued a statement or not.

Sounds good. Don't get killed.

_*door clicks shut*_

So, I'm gonna go check that out – see if I can discover what's going on. I'll be right back.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

I'm not back in the lab yet, but I had to get this recorded right away. The streets are lined with gigantic circular cleaners – sort of like those roomba things from TV commercials. I-I saw someone get run over. It…It wasn't pretty. There was so much blood…

I've been heading towards Town Hall. Maybe the council's got an emergency plan for this type of thing. If not, then they certainly have the power to instate one. That's –

Carlos!

Is that…?

Cecil? Don't you have a show?

The weather's on now. You need to get inside!

I was going to the Town Council, see if they can stop these things.

They're on a plane to Miami right now – they can't help. You really should get inside before a cleaner locks onto you. If that happens…

_*loud roar*_

_ *running footsteps*_

_ *clattering sound*_

My recorder! I have to get it – I've got a bunch of research on there!

_*running footsteps*_

_ *rustling*_

_ *running footsteps*_

_ *door banging open and shut*_

So that's what they mean by having your life flash before your eyes… Thank you for saving my life, Cecil.

Anytime. You should p-probably stay here until nighttime – that's usually when the cleaners disappear. I-I'm sure Station Ma-Management won't mind a-as long as you don't interfere with the show.

Are you okay? You sound a little…Never mind.

You nearly died, and you're asking me if I'm okay? You really are perfect!

No one's perfect.

Oh! The weather's nearly done – I should get back to my booth. See you later, Carlos!

_*footsteps fading into distance*_

_*slow sigh*_

He's never gonna stop calling me perfect, is he?

Anyway, it was weird seeing my life pass before my eyes. I didn't see everything – just highlights, really. The significant stuff. Time spent with family, friends, Cecil… I wonder if – never mind.

Long as I'm stuck here, I might look around, see if I can figure out how part of this town works. Don't think I'll succeed, but I shouldn't give up. Scientists have to be optimistic – especially in a place like Night Vale. I'll wrap things up when I get back to the lab.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Street cleaning day's finally over. It's almost one in the morning now, so I'm gonna try to keep this brief. I'll probably just sleep here rather than driving when I'm this tired.

Didn't really discover anything new at the Radio Station. I did see the floating cat, though. What's his name again? Ko-sheck? Koshak? Something like that.

Other than the fact that he was floating, he looked like an ordinary black-and-white cat. Though when I scratched him behind the ears he let out a static-y hum instead of a purr.

Anything else…?

Talked with Cecil a little more – nothing too important, though. It was mostly me asking questions about Night Vale and getting not so useful answers.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry for all the confusion with me deleting and re-uploading these chapters. I accidentally had 16 and 17 be the same ch. in terms of content. This is why you shouldn't update in the middle of the night. I'm so sorry, and I hope you enjoy the correct versions of these 3 chapters.

* * *

Day One Hundred and Ninety-Nine in Night Vale.

Time's slowing down in Night Vale. I first noticed something was up when I called mi mamá – I promised I'd call Tory the next day, on her birthday. Mi mamá replied that _that_ day was her birthday.

After I called Tory to check, I started running some figures. Over the next week they showed that while seven days passed in Night Vale, more than eight passed by everywhere else. I have to warn the town, but Cecil isn't at the radio station yet. I'd have to call his home phone, but I…

I'd have to be careful. I have to make sure I don't stumble over my words so I don't make a fool of myself, can't say anything that he'd construe as me returning his affections 'cause he'd blab about it on the radio, and I have to explain what's going on in a way that anyone in town could understand.

_*short sigh*_

Why does this seem so _hard_? I wasn't worrying this much when I called the radio station.

It must be because I'm calling Cecil directly, not through the station. Makes sense, I suppose. As much as a crush can make sense.

I should probably get this over with…

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

"I need to talk to you"? Really? Could I've sounded more like I was about to ask him out?

_*muffled thud*_

Other than that I think the call went well. Cecil understood what I was trying to say – even if he didn't fully get the implications of time working incorrectly. When I told him about the rest of the world being a day ahead, all he said to that was, "Neat!".

Time shifts must not be that uncommon here. Or, they're the oh-how-cool type of rarity, not the run-for-your-life-we're-all-gonna-die type. Who knows?

Cecil also asked me if I wanted to get together with him to talk about time acting up. I said no. I mean, my week's pretty packed with experiments and stuff, so…yeah.

That sounds stupid, doesn't it?

It's just that I know he meant it as a date, and I haven't been on a successful one in years, and the odds that this one would've gone well are – well, I haven't actually run the data, but I'd doubt they'd be good. Cecil thinks so highly of me, I don't want to – never mind.

In other, non-personal, news, Teddy Williams – the bowling alley owner – called the lab the other day saying the underground city had broadcasted a coded message. Me and Dr. Nolan went over to the bowling alley to check it out, but the "coded message" was just the jukebox being stuck on "Mister Brownstone".

A terrible song, I'll admit, but not exactly a sign of an oncoming army. In my opinion, Williams is just a little paranoid and thusly thinks anything suspicious is a threat of some kind.

But I have been wrong before.

Also, clocks aren't real. Not like the non-existent house, though. I disassembled one of the lab's wall clocks because the second hand had stopped, and instead of gears I found a weird grey lump. I've taken apart some more clocks both analog and digital since then.

None of them have gears, but only roughly forty percent have a grey lump. The rest are completely hollow inside. Some of the lumps are growing hair and teeth – I've locked those in secure containers.

I'm currently picking apart one of my clocks at ho-my apartment. I'd be doing it in the lab, but Dr. Vorpal accidentally set off an explosion. No one was hurt, thankfully, but we're not allowed back in until a cleaning crew can fix it up. That should be either tomorrow or the next day.

I should probably call the radio station and have Cecil warn the town about the clocks.

But despite looking weird they haven't _done_ anything yet, so I'll just wait until tomorrow. I've embarrassed myself enough for one day.

There was another "sighting" of the man in the tan jacket yesterday – Dr. Ford saw him. She doesn't really have any new details to offer other than that she hates not being able to remember what he looks like.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	17. Chapter 17

Day Two Hundred and Five in Night Vale.

I ended up calling Cecil about the clocks the day after I tried to warn the town about the time shifts. Something really weird happened – someone came to the door while I was in the middle of talking to him. I still can't remember who it was or why he stopped by.

My hypothesis is that it was that man in the tan jacket, but I'm not really sure. The security camera in the hallway didn't catch anything and I don't remember what whoever who was at my door wore.

…The whole thing still creeps me out.

Anyway, I ended up meeting Cecil the next day at a coffee place – Harville's, I think it was called – to get the mayor's and sheriff's phone numbers. Despite what any of my colleagues would say –

_*door quietly clicks open*_

– it was _not_ a date.

Suuuuurrrrrre it wasn't, Carlos.

Lucy, what the – what're you doing here?

He brought you _flowers_. If that doesn't make it a date, I don't know what does.

Weren't you and Jason going out tonight?

We were going to until Cupid and his army of devil cherubs started attacking.

What? You mean that metaphorically or something, right?

_*sharp scoff*_

I wish. We had just gotten to the restaurant when ten guys wearing nothing more than giant diapers and fluffy white pairs of wings started shooting arrows at people and killing them. By the time we had gotten to the car, candy hearts had started raining from the sky.

Jason got hit by a heart, but he wasn't hurt too badly. Grace is checking the wound right now.

Just when I thought this place couldn't get any weirder.

You thought wrong, Oh Fearless Leader.

_*soft chuckle*_

Anything else?

Yeah – Sam's got a Council notice you might want to check out.

Thanks. I'll be right with him.

See ya later!

_*door clicks shut*_

I'll be back as soon as I can.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

This is Dr. Green. Dr. Munoz is still busy – apparently that notice was a copy of a reply the state House sent and he's trying to sort something out with that.

While he's off taking care of that, there's something I'd like to clarify: what happened between him and Cecil was _definitely _a date.

First, they were at a coffee place. Two people can go get coffee and not be interested in each other, I admit, but when combined with everything else it's a pretty damning piece of evidence.

Second, Cecil brought flowers. And not just your typical red roses – no, he brought a collection of the rarest flowers I've ever seen. Botany's not my speciality, but it is my mom's, so I know a little bit about it. You don't spend that much time on flowers for a business meeting. Hell, you don't bring flowers period.

Third, Carlos still has those flowers on his desk. I'm looking right at 'em, and they're still in pretty good condition. Granted, it hasn't even been a week yet, but still.

Fourth, he came back from that "meeting" with a lovesick grin so wide it looked like he'd stepped right out of a sappy rom-com. It stayed there until he left the lab at least. I don't think Carlos heard a word any of us said the entire rest of the day.

Honestly – and I think I'm speaking on the behalf of everyone on the team here – it's good he's found someone. I worked with him a couple times back at GD and I can't really remember him looking happier. In fact –

_Shit._ He's heading back to his office. Gotta go!

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

The Council notice was a copy of a plea they made to the state House, asking for recovery aid. The House turned them down and basically said that they thought the whole Valentine's Day Disaster was a practical joke.

_*annoyed sigh*_

For once this town realizes the severity of something crazy making people die – probably due to the sheer number of deaths – and they can't get any official government help.

_Great._

In addition to all of the deaths, the post office is filled with mummy-like figures. No mail is going out anywhere, and anyone who tries to enter gets hit with a wave of nausea. Dr. Bering tried to mail a package yesterday and ended up calling in sick. She's feeling better now, luckily.

Both sunsets and sunrises have been occurring twenty minutes later than normal.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	18. Chapter 18

Day Two Hundred and Nineteen in Night Vale.

Not much has been happening recently – which is really strange for this town. The sun's still out of whack, and the rest of the world continues to be one day ahead. Post office is free of mummies, at least.

Just in time, too. Today's my birthday and if the post office had remained closed, I wouldn't have been able to get my usual basket of treats from mi mamá. I may be a bit biased, but she's the best cook in the world. There's cookies, some candy, and even a slice of cake. It's marble with chocolate frosting – my absolute favorite.

Also got some cards from Gabe's and Tory's families. Abuela helped mamá with the treats and sent me some money.

Wish I could spend it with them, but it's too expensive to buy a plane ticket for every holiday. If only –

_ *door clicks open*_

Hey Carlos – I've got somethin' you might wanna see. Got a minute?

Uh, sure.

_*chair rolls back*_

_*muffled footsteps*_

_ *door clicks shut*_

What's up, Jason? Did Grace blow something up again?

No, it's nothing like that. Remember when I told you that there was a locked door right by my office?

Vaaaaaaguely. Why? Did you get it open?

Ye_p_. It's some kind of machine – a bunch of wires and lights and, well, it'd probably be better just to show you.

_*muffled footsteps continue*_

Ah, here it is!

_*heavy metal door scraping open*_

After you, Fearless Leader.

_*annoyed sigh* _

Everyone's going to be calling me that now, aren't they?

Ye_p_. So, what d'you think?

It's…certainly interesting. Never would've thought this could fit in here from the outside.

Yeah, it's about fifteen feet in diameter and ten feet three inches high.

Three inches? O-kay, then. Any ideas as to what it does yet?

No_p_e. It's taken me and Lucy about a week just to figure out how to get it started. Runs on ketchup. Sounds crazy, I know, but I was eating a hotdog, trying to figure this thing out, and a glob of ketchup dropped on that center dial thing.

Suddenly, all the lights turned on and that globe on the dial started spinning and humming. Me and Lucy ran out to the doorway, but five seconds later it completely stopped.

…Huh. Let's try it again. Can you grab the ketchup bottle from the kitchen?

Sure!

_*muffled footsteps*_

_ *door scrapes open and closed*_

Just in case this thing goes haywire, I'm gonna stop the notes now and come back to them later. I don't think anything will happen, but this _is_ Night Vale, so…yeah.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Experiment's over. The machine's _interesting_, to say the least.

Dr. Cameron came back with the ketchup bottle shortly and squeezed a small amount – about half the size of the paper cups at McDonald's – on the center dial supporting the golden globe. We both hightailed it out of the room as quick as we could.

The globe spun and hummed for approximately a minute before quieting down. Dr. Cameron and I repeated the experiment with an amount of ketchup equaling paper cup size, and the globe spun for five minutes. Each time the lights stayed on for as long as the globe spun.

Eventually we ran low on ketchup and decided to just set the bottle on the dial instead of trying to scrape out the remaining ketchup. The globe started humming and spinning and the lights went on. That's when something weird happened.

The ketchup bottle grew blurry and hazy before spontaneously splitting in two. Then the globe stopped and the lights turned off. The second bottle appears to be completely stable – meaning that as of this moment it hasn't exploded or turned to a poisonous snake or anything – and contains the same amount of ketchup as the original bottle.

Dr. Cameron and I repeated the effect with plastic gloves, as we seem to have a never-ending supply of them. In addition, the number of copies seems to increase with the amount of ketchup, though the exact relationship hasn't yet been discovered.

In completely unrelated news and before I forget, I recently signed up for a scientist exchange program Eureka's hosting. Basically it means that any company that wants to can switch scientists with another for a week and see how they run things.

I got an email from Director Deacon earlier today saying my application's gone through. I'm going to be switching places with Dr. Raul Sanchez from Desert Bluffs two weeks from now. It'll be interesting to see if it's as bad as Cecil says.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


	19. Chapter 19A

Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Three in Night Vale, Day One in Desert Bluffs.

Just finished setting all of my things up. Tried to pack light, but I don't think I succeeded. No one in mi familia is good at that – we'd go on vacation somewhere for a week and bring enough food to last us a month.

As for first impressions of Desert Bluffs…I still don't see why Cecil hates this place so much. The people here are little too cheery, but that's it.

Speaking of Cecil, I met a man who looks almost exactly like him earlier today. The only difference, really, being his voice and his eyes – they were completely black. He said to call him Kevin, and he's also a radio host, which is kind of weird.

If Desert Bluff's radio host looks like Cecil, does that mean that the scientist I switched places with looks like me?

…Nah. I can kinda get how Cecil and Kevin look the same since they're from this crazy end of the world, but not me. There is that theory about everyone having a doppelganger somewhere in the world, though.

Anyway, I'm going to be working for StrexCorp this week. I've never heard of it before, but apparently it's a very powerful company. It's in charge of nearly everything here in Desert Bluffs.

Oh – forgot to mention earlier, but I received a birthday present from Cecil. How he knew it was my birthday, I'm not sure I'll ever know. He got me a tie this time. It's a dark purple with the radio logo at the bottom. That was nice of him. Makes me feel guilty for not knowing when his birthday is, but still.

I didn't get here until early evening, so StrexCorp has nothing for me to do until tomorrow. Kevin did extend the offer of a tour of Desert Bluffs' radio station. I have nothing better to do today besides rearrange my stuff – think I'll take him up on that.

Will resume notes when I get back.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

I-I – the – it – there was – so much –. I–I need a-a moment t-t-to –

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

I'm sorry about earlier, it's just – well, let me begin by saying that I reeeeaallly regret taking that tour. Hell, I think I'm regretting ever leaving Night Vale period.

_*slow sigh*_

The tour started out alright. Kevin was as slightly unnaturally cheery as he had been earlier today. He showed me around the radio station, and then asked if I wanted to see the booth. Stupid stupid me agreed. It – _Madre de Dios_ – it was covered, floor to ceiling, in blood and viscera. The chair, the equipment – everything.

I didn't even step foot in there. I just ran all the way back to my hotel room, managing not to throw up until I had bolted the door shut.

A car drove me over here. If there wasn't an impenetrable desert between here and Night Vale, I'd already be out the door and on my way back. As it is, I'm stuck here for six more days. Hope I can make it.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night – I mean, Desert Bluffs.

XxXx

Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Six in Night Vale, Day Four in Desert Bluffs.

I tried calling Director Deacon to get a car to pull me out, but the first call didn't connect, then my cellphone died, I can't find my charger – though I know I brought it – and I don't remember the number off-hand. Which means I really am stuck here for a few more days.

StrexCorp's had me do a few tests for them here and there, all of which had something _off_ about them. Can't put my finger on what, exactly, but…

_*short sigh*_

Can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss Night Vale. It was creepy there, yes, but at least they were honest about it. Desert Bluffs tries to cover up anything scary or wrong with a heavy dose of unrelenting optimism, which actually makes everything worse. Not to mention that Night Vale didn't have nearly anything as disturbing as Kevin's booth.

I also miss my team. I remember the lab's number, so I've been able to warn them about Desert Bluffs, but it would be a hell of a lot easier to deal with this place if someone I knew were here with me.

Oh, and none of them could come and get me as both cars we brought over here are in for repairs. Yes, I know the odds of that happening now are extremely high, but it is Night Vale.

Cecil probably did a report the other day warning people that their cars will die this week if they have a friend in need.

Wonder how he's doing? I never told him I was leaving for a week to come here. Probably so busy with the radio station that he hasn't even noticed I'm gone…

Anyway, on a more positive note…Wait, what's going on? Something weird's happening on the radio. Having it on's required here too, and – is that? Yeah – that's Cecil.

How'd he get into the booth?

Oh, _Cecil_.

The place is covered in gore and you still think you could be in Night Vale?

A vortex? Huh – should try to look into that. When I get back of course. There's no way in hell I'm going back into Kevin's booth.

Oh, good, he's going back. I'm both jealous and relieved.

Aaaannnndddd Kevin's back. Fantastic.

Don't really have much else to report as StrexCorp's threatened to do…something to me if I blab without their permission. No idea what that "something" is, but I don't want to find out.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Desert Bluffs.

XxXx

Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Nine in Night Vale.

I'm finally back ho – back in Night Vale. It's good to be back.

No more viscera-covered radio booth, no more unrelenting optimism, no more slightly disturbing experiments…

_*slow sigh*_

Everyone on the team chipped together to buy me a "welcome back" cake. They didn't really need to, but it was nice of them. They even managed to get my favorite kind, too.

Haven't heard from Cecil. I got back after the broadcast ended, so I didn't get to hear how he's been. My team – Dr. Green especially – have been continually asking me if I missed him. I'm afraid to ask them how Cecil is 'cause that would bring on a boatload of teasing.

I'm sure something will happen tomorrow that I can call in and ask him to warn the town about. I'll find out then.

Nothing much happened while I was gone. The sun's been setting ten minutes late and the glow cloud's kid's dropped a few more kittens. I –

_*loud yawn*_

I'm sorry – haven't been getting much sleep this week. Think I'll cut this short.

That's all for today. This Dr. Carlos Munoz, finally recording from Night Vale.


	20. Chapter 19B

Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Three in Desert Bluffs, Day One in Night Vale.

I just finished setting all of my stuff up. Don't think I packed enough food and the like. Mi familia has always been bad at that – we've always packed way too little and would have to make frequent trips to a nearby grocery store.

Far as first impressions of Night Vale go…I can see why Kevin's got nothing but good things to say about this place. Sure the people aren't quite as friendly, but danger-wise it's got the same low level.

The scientists the guy I swapped with has for colleagues seem pretty cool. Most of them have been giving me strange looks, though, and one of them – a Dr. Green – has been outright discourteous. She says I look like "one of those damn Gangers from Doctor Who" and that she doesn't trust me.

I have no idea what a "Ganger" is, but I think I'll be avoiding her as best I can. The rest have been treating me pretty well despite the looks, however.

Met Night Vale's radio host earlier when I stopped to get some groceries. He's the exact copy of Kevin – everything but his eyes. I didn't get a good glimpse, but they certainly weren't the same shade of obsidi – I-I mean, they weren't, um, black.

Anyway, his name's Cecil, and he seemed happy to see me until he realized I wasn't someone named "Carlos". Think that's the name of the guy I switched with, but without a last name it's hard to be sure.

I asked him if I could get a tour of Night Vale's radio station – see how different it is from Desert Bluffs'. It took a bit of persuading, but eventually Cecil agreed. I'm about to head over there now. I'll resume notes when I get back.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

I – It was – I mean to say – there was – everywhere it was – I-I need a moment, please.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Sorry 'bout that. It's just that the studio was _amazing_! Everything was so well-organized, the interns were pretty nice, and I managed to gather a lot of data.

Cecil wasn't the most enthusiastic of hosts, but he was probably just having a bad day. Maybe he missed that "Carlos" guy – I dunno. I did learn quite a bit about the building from him, though.

One other thing – the studio was really clean compared to the one in Desert Bluffs, especially the main booth. It wasn't a bad thing. Just weird.

Maybe it's a cultural thing, like maintaining a positive attitude is back in Desert Bluffs. Who knows?

The team of scientists here hasn't given me anything to do for tonight as I got back late. I'll just finish up packing and turn in for the night.

This is it for today. I am Dr. Raul Sanchez, recording from Desert – I mean, Night Vale.

XxXx

Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Six in Desert Bluffs, Day Four in Night Vale.

The longer I stay here, the less Desert Bluffs seems like such a great place. I mean, everyone's happy there, but…seeing such a variety of emotions here in Night Vale makes me realize how – how _bland_ that constant happiness was. And creepy.

No one really wants to feel sad or angry, but it's those emotions that make happiness worth something.

I don't really want to go back. Might make a phone call to Global Dynamics – the company who hired the man I switched with – and see if they'll give me a job here. Or in that Eureka place. Basically, somewhere that isn't Desert Bluffs.

And something else I'm remembering. Kevin's booth in the radio station – _Madre de Dios _! His booth it – it was covered in blood and viscera and I – I just _forgot _it.

How the hell could I forget _that_?! I remember thinking my first day here that Night Vale's radio station was much cleaner than the one in Desert Bluffs, but I certainly didn't remember the gore or anything.

I'm not sure if Kevin realizes the truth. I mean, he's always super cheerful no matter what crazy stuff's going on. Either he's insane and doesn't care, or he's affected the same way I was. He's never seemed insane, though. I'll call him later once I get some free time – the scientists here have been keeping me pretty busy.

It's been 'recording the time the sun set' this, 'check the seismic monitors' that, 'measure the mini tornados' wind speeds before they disappear again and ruin our data'.

Dr. Green still doesn't trust me even though her boyfriend, Dr. Cameron, is vouching for me. Dr. Ford explained to me what a "Ganger" is – it's some sort of clone that, in the show, had a tendency to go crazy and kill people. Her colleague's comment makes more sense now.

…That's weird. Could've sworn I heard Kevin on the radio, but the ones here don't reach Desert Bluffs. Maybe I heard it wrong.

No, that's definitely Kevin.

He's noticing the main difference of the two studios right away like I did. Said it was drier rather than cleaner, but still.

Wish I knew the number of this station so I could call Kevin, explain to him that he's in Night Vale.

I'll find Dr. Ford or someone – maybe they'll have the number. Be right back.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

Annnnndddd by the time I got the number and called, Kevin had gone and Cecil was back. Great. Just great. So much for explaining things and telling him the truth about Desert Bluffs.

For now, there's an experiment I'm apparently supposed to help out with in a few minutes.

This is it for today. I am Dr. Raul Sanchez, recording from Night Vale.

XxXx

Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Nine in Desert Bluffs.

It's good to be ho – I mean, good to be back in Desert Bluffs.

Please disregard anything negative I said on my last set of notes. I think the stress of working so hard in a new and, thusly scary, town got to me. There's nothing wrong with maintaining a positive outlook on life or with Desert Bluffs.

I ran into Kevin on my way into town. He's doing just fine – he apparently got to meet his double. It was nice seeing him.

It's also good to see my fellow StrexCorp employees again. They said the man I switched with looked just like me. Cool! He kept calling them by the wrong names, though. I guess his team looked a lot like the wonderful people I work with.

I got back pretty late, so StrexCorp didn't really have anything for me to do.

This is – Wait, there was something I wanted to talk to Kevin about, wasn't there? Something about his booth. What was it?

_*short sigh*_

Oh well. Maybe I'll remember after a good night's sleep.

This is it for today. I am Dr. Raul Sanchez, recording at last from Desert Bluffs.


	21. Chapter 20

Day Two Hundred and Fifty-Three in Night Vale.

Apparently today's the start of Poetry week in Night Vale. All residents who've been here for more than six months hafta participate by way of writing at least one poem. Which unfortunately includes my entire team.

Dr. Nolan – having once considered getting an English major – offered to write poems for those of us who couldn't, but that's cheating according to the rules and cheaters get sent to the abandoned mine shaft. Wonderful.

Y'know, this is one of the reasons I chose science. The main one was because I wanted to figure the world out, but another was that it's objective. There's one right answer – either you're right or you're wrong. You might not know which you are at first, but those are the options.

With English and such, there's so many answers that could be right. How are you supposed to get the best one, the most correct one, if there are so many to choose from?

Plus, I've never been good at coming up with new words. Give me a script or an outline or at least some data/experiment to explain, and I'll know what to say. I'm not a great public speaker, but as long as I have note cards to go off of I can get by.

Writing a poem? I'm doomed with a capital "doom" and a side order of chaos.

And anyone who can't/refuses to write a poem gets re-educated or sent to the mine shaft depending on the severity of the offense. I still remember how shaken up Cecil was when he was re-educated.

_*short sigh*_

I have until 11:59 PM Saturday to stick a poem to my door with chewing gum – weird, I know – so at least I have a while to come up with one. Or just to wait for re-education. Whichever.

Anyway, billboards have been popping up all over town again. These ones say, "20% off everything! We're going to take 20% off everything! Every thing! We're craaaazy!" There's no company logo on any of them, and there's no record at the Highway Department of anyone owning them or asking for permission to put them up. My team and I will try to keep an eye on them, but I doubt that they'll be much of a problem.

Of course, now that I've said that they're gonna cause a lot of problems.

I just _had_ to jinx it, didn't I? Cecil's probably gonna talk about how the signs are literal or something in a couple of minutes, and next thing I'll know 20% of the lab will be gone. That's the kind of logic this place seems to run on. Oh well.

…And apparently I'm either a psychic now or I just know Night Vale really well, as Cecil just mentioned on his show that the not-so-Secret Police believe the signs are literal. Anyone want to bet how long it'll take for part of the lab to disappear?

I'm going with that if the lab's still intact tomorrow, the sign meant 20% off the entire town, if anything, and the lab was part of the other 80%. Hope I'm right and hope that Cecil's not caught in the 20% that disappears. Fingers – metaphorically – crossed.

Metaphorically as opposed to literally because I couldn't get any work done if the latter were the case. Which would be bad cos I have a shit-ton to do – mostly report write-ups.

I've been avoiding those like the plague as they're – well, they're not hard, per se, they're just really annoying and take a ridiculously long amount of time to do. And since I've been avoiding them for so long, a lot have piled up. So I've got to get those done, write a poem, do some research…

_*annoyed sigh*_

Feels like I'm back in college. Which is just _wonderful_.

I had a good time overall, but the homework was just plain evil. Don't miss that at all.

Anyway, on a less personal note, inanimate objects have started talking. Dr. Vorpal told me earlier that she had been walking back to her apartment last night and not long after she got back to the building, she heard someone whispering. She peered around the corner to see who it was and all she saw was one of those cleaning carts – the kind that janitors use. Then Dr. Vorpal said she thought she'd imagined it until the attached bucket asked her a direct question. She didn't investigate any further, though, it apparently freaked her out quite a bit.

Don't blame her.

And then Dr. Cameron's car told him a joke this morning. According to him it had a terrible sense of humor.

Nothing out the ordinary's talked to me ye –

_*door clicks open*_

Hey, Carlos? Are you busy?

Not really.

Good. Grace just texted me – the dog park's gates just opened. She could see it from Calhoun's. Mind coming with me to go check it out?

Not at all – just give me a sec to wrap up the notes. 'Kay, Henry?

Yeah. See you in a bit.

_*door clicks shut*_

So, I'm gonna go check out the "forbidden" dog park. Hopefully I'll be back in a little while.

_*clicking sound*_

_ *prolonged silence*_

_ *clicking sound*_

I'm back. Um, that's kind of obvious, isn't it?

Regardless, both me and Dr. Nolan made it through unscathed. Dr. Vorpal met us there, but decided to head back to the lab rather than investigate with us.

Inside the park were a couple of tennis balls, a few Frisbees, and a tall black monolith. The monolith was emitting some kind of hum that made many people there – me included – feel calmer. The effect seems to have worn off by now.

Shortly after Dr. Nolan and I arrived one of Cecil's interns showed up. I think her name was Dana. Anyway, she found a boulder not far inside the gates to stand on and warned people not to go into the dog park. Seems counter-productive to me, but it worked. Nearly everyone backed off after her speech.

The gates closed within a few minutes of Dana's speech with her still inside. Hope she's okay. For all Cecil's warned the town about the dog park, it didn't seem too dangerous from the brief peek I got of it. Certainly didn't see any of those "hooded figures" he keeps mentioning.

Wonder how Cecil's doing. I know he loses a lot of interns, but I think Dana's lasted the longest. I'm pretty sure she's been mentioned the most.

Should probably get to work on my poem.

That's all for today. This is Dr. Carlos Munoz, recording from Night Vale.


End file.
